Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Goo Goo Dolls - Name
And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away
And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name
Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name
I won't tell 'em your name
Mmm, mmm, mmm
I won't tell 'em your name...
Mmmmmm
I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell 'em your name
hmm. a beautiful song don't you think? wanted to put black balloon but decided that this song was more appropriate. not in the best of moods now that my life's been all shook up again, and just had a bad day. one of the worst in fact. really, people should stop using the adjective cheerful to describe me. cuz i'm far from that i'm far far away from that 'reality'. wish i could be there but really with everything that's been going on, i think im losing faith in life. and no, if u're thinking that it's abt that thing abt finding out sth horrible abt someone i just met and sorta like, no it isnt. seriously, my love life has been the last on my priority list. when i've got the rest of the world out there aiming to burrow an arrow into my heart, i really cant be bothered much with guys as much as friends and family. those aspects have always come first. u can always find another guy, u cant find another friend or another family. no matter how much u hate ur current one.
sometimes i just stop believing. sometimes i do more for others and forget about what i really want. sometimes i allow my life to be a puppet show, designed to please others, i'll do whatever it takes to make those i love happy, even if i wind up one day regretting every single step i take in my life. so much so that they take me for granted so much so i wind up opening myself for hurt. wish i could be like someone i know, close myself to the world. there's only that bit of me people can know.
well that's why im feeling exactly like this song...
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
isnt that telling me exactly what's happening? really, i had so many dreams, so many ideals, i believed in so much, yet they were all shook up. people telling me what to do, what's more practical, trying to make me as jaded as they already are. i'd like to for once, do something that would make me happy, yet i'm worried that they were right and i was wrong, maybe i was deluded, maybe i really can't be happy. maybe happiness is just that out of reach. yea i've been told by people who probably used to care, that i deserve to be happy, i've spent too long trying to do what others tell me to. people who used to know me. yet, now i cant escape from this situation, in a short space of time, a lifelong dream has ended for me, i've been brought to ground, and i dont even have the right to decide from hereon. all the dreams i thought i'd never lose, get tossed along the way.
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
this is the sweetest verse ever, gives me the feeling that i could hide beside someone, and that person just wont tell anyone anything about me. that my secrets would remain safe. and yup, i could hide beside that person, not behind. that person could be a friend or whatever, who would be there for me... a space for solace. a private space u can pour everything out to and not be judged. someone who could lend me an arm ard my shoulder as i just ball myself up so i'd feel more secure.
Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
isn't this nothing more than truth, the one truth? really, once you've been hurt, there isn't any way you can forget it... and sometimes, that very past just catches up with you. There really is no escape, except to face it and sometimes it can hurt as much as it did back then when u try to face it. and sometimes, these wounds are inflicted by those you love the most. and really, life IS more than who we are... it overwhelms us. sometimes being yourself really isnt enough. only those true to themselves thruout this journey deserve respect. we tend to wind up losing ourselves somewhere out there, trying to shine, constantly trying to be a star.
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
isn't the the problem with all of us today, we're forced to grow up way too fast, and with growing up comes the price of the power of believing. in ourselves and our dreams. away with confidence, away with a sense of self, away with those rainbow coloured, candy coated daydreams. growing up really is learning to be what others want you to be, becoming someone the world wants to see, and not someone you'd like to be. kinda realised that i'm growing to become just that. someone the world wants to see. i don't think i like myself all that much no more. i'm sick and tired of listening to and doing what others what me to do, yet, i'm still playing along, being that dreamhouse product. really, how many of us can claim we've always done what we wanted to do? how many of us can claim that we've practised what we preached and followed our dreams? how many of us still do actually have those dreams? i don't think i'm becoming someone i want to be, and everyone around me is still trying to hurt me, jade me into growing up faster than ever.
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell 'em your name
this is sweet in that, really there's someone who'll bother to protect you and your secrets, accept you for who you are and who you wanna be. there's that perfect friend, somewhere out there, who really, REALLY means it when she says she loves you for who you are. someone who'll catch you when you fall, persuade you from jumping, someone who'll always be there for you, so it wont be lonely up there no more. someone who's just gonna make it all alright.
someone.. who genuinely cares.
She needed someone at 2:02 AM
