Tuesday, March 01, 2005
kElly cLarkson-mIss iNdePenDent
Miss independent
Miss self sufficient
Miss keep your distance
Miss unafraid
Miss out my way
Miss don’t let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She’d never ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
I said ooo, she fell in love
What is this feeling taking over
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real
What happened to Miss independent
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye old you when love is true
Miss guarded heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn’t want to end up jaded
And this Miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love
What is this feeling taking over
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real
What happened to Miss independent
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye old you when love is true
When Miss independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to Miss no longer afraid
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can’t that be me
I’m so glad I finally see…
What is this feeling taking over
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real
What happened to Miss independent
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye old you when love is true
HAH. really, HAH.
anyhows the past week's been pretty boring... don't really know. it's ok kind of boring not unbearable boring. ive had unbearable boring weeks. THE GIRLS OUT HERE ARE NOT HAVING FUN! try looking for a job, taking up an ultra boring job, applying to uni, trying to cope with PLENTY OF PEER PRESSURE, missing friends, trying to decide what u wanna take in uni, trying to decide which uni to go to, trying to decide whether to go overseas of stay local, and so so much more, all at the same time. i'd do army anyday, just give me the testosterone and all the things u need to be a guy, and i'd do army.
wells... let's see went for 2 driving lessons last week was real fun cept i realised that aft the third lesson i'll have to go onto the road already and i haven even gotten my pdl. stalled the car only 4 times the first lesson. 2nd time, stalled lots of times. haha but only threw the clutch once. throwing the clutch is dead scary... the car practically threw me out the windscreen. ok exaggerating i was wearing my seatbelt. but i was like sitting there as the car bucked, my eyes bugging out. haha... i was so freaking frightened. haha. the instructor was more of... "oh wells..." hahaha cuz it's prob happened so many times to him. but he was probably new to my over-cautiousness. i'd stop like wayyyyyyyyy behind a car. like once i saw a car stop in the distance i'd stop. haha so i'd be like what... 1/4 of the circuit away frm him. hahaha and my instructor just found it so amusing yet exasperating. haha and when i saw a pedestrian in the distance, i'd stop too. haha and this once i did just that, and that pedestrian looked at my car quizzically and started laughing at me in the middle of the road. then he crossed the road, and still laughing, signalled for me to go. happens he actually wanted to walk along the middle line dividing the lanes actually. haha... he's a driving instructor. DAMN. how silly can i get.
my driving instructor just told me as a leaving note, not to be too cautious cuz i stop like that, no.1 it's too far away, no.2 can cause accident(cars behind). and to press my accelerator when i wanna start the car... cuz im always happy with the speed releasing the clutch allows me. like.. less than 1 on the accelerator.
then when he tells me to speed up, i'd get accelerator happy and drive superfast. but that's the time when i can negotiate a bend, PERFECTLY. gosh i was born to be a gocart racer. wahha.
i musta looked like the eager newbie learner.
anyhows. then friday, got my hair dyed by my very own stylist, zhang xiaowei. haha. sunset blaze. whatever. it's not really obvious now in the dark my hair just looks more dry and malnutritioned than ever. but i kinda like the way the red looks with my complexion under light. YAY. i quite like it. haha but im gonna get brighter red highlights and brown too. im bored with the monotone. haha. or maybe jet black highlights? i dunno. i wanna do sth diff. i wanna perm my hair too. haha my friend likes my hair... says that it's nice the way it is... kinda wavy, nice shape and all and fiddles with my hair. wahaha. damn lame. i still wanna perm it. maybe i'll do dreadlocks counting crows style. RIGHT. haha wait till i get abit more demented.
we had sakae sushi and the law abiding zhang xiaowei wanted to admit she wasnt a student anymore so they'd charge us adult for the buffet. hahaha... but i was going "yea! yea we're students" haha... i mean why waste this baby face? it got me child rates in j1 on a nz cruise. haha.
anyhows then stayed over at xw's... haha stupid girl said i hogged the whole bed. hehs. oops? ok la maybe it's a habit bred frm childhood. haha.
well then sat, wanted to go jogging but it threatened to rain the whole day. so only had dianxin with fam before my bro left(yes! yes! yes!) then watched legally blonde then got ready to go zouk. went for dinner with xw and my ac friend(name shall be kept confidential) at nooch... haha he was so super shy. he either trailed behind or walked way in front. and he'd... appear and disappear somewhere suddenly. really... freaky and funny. haha... honestly no one wud think he was frm soccer or plays volleyball(pro, acc to his friend trevor) other than maybe looks and height. he's got the ac looks but not really the ac personality. so freaking shy. anyways when he spoke it was nice, cuz he does say interesting things and not like some people i know go on and on abt irrelevant stuff. anyways. then we left for zouk. me and xw got in on the before 10 rates. and the bouncer cut him off just nice. haha so he had to pay a bomb to get in. haha.. which helluva wasnt worth it. music sucked, crowd was bad and balding. it definitely didnt beat the previous week. where there were countless younger looking people and PLENTY, i mean really plenty of cuties. wells and it didnt make it better we were with someone who preferred sitting down chilling and drinking. haha u do that at bars. where u dont pay cover charge. but oh well music sucked anyways. so we bummed ard the club... ahhaa and he told us that he slept at zouk before.. and showed us where. haha oh well typical. but i cant imagine man u'd be dreaming.. breakbeats. music so loud. haha... anyhows we were pointing out older girls for him to target cuz he told us he liked older girls wahhaa so funny. oh and he was like crazy man he asked us if we've tried this drink or that drink, then he'd go off and buy it for us if we haven tried it yet. crazy. but we insisted on paying him back. so tried malibu pineapple and blue lagoon. saw a pussyfoot and a screwdriver. hahahaa. ok i really admire their knowledge of cocktails.
but all in all, he was really really really times a million nice snag guy thou abit chauvinistic, going by how i think, and yea i pity him for having to stick with us so long. haha. and me, being the one lacking a conscience, kept disappearing even thou he was my friend. oops. and i kept pulling xw with me. haha. shit. haha but he's a nice friend to go pubbing with or just to go out with. any older women out there? haha... knowing him for 5 years and yet forgetting he's so shy. or barely knowing. whatever. but i think being so mean has just made another hate me man. haha. but he's got a really really funny friend... mrbigface. haha... at least someone had a sense of humour.
he tried to be as gentlemanly as possb...like when he left then he realised he forgot... he smsed and asked if we need him to send us home or anything. haha really cute. and when i told xw i wanted to go walk walk... haha then he was like he'll stay with us if we're not going back then... but then i felt bad so i started being indecisive. so yea then he pointed at the sky and asked if we've hearda mexico. and so dumb we were wondering if it was a club or the country. haha... then he said i heard in mexico u can see all the stars. im gonna go there one day maybe in a few mths time. haha... damn snag.
anyhows that disappearing and appearing thing? i smsed him asking him where he was when we lost each other again, then me and xw were talking cock someplace in zouk then he suddenly popped up and both of us screamed cuz i was, frm the corner of my eye seeing some guy approach us... then suddenly realised who it was. then we were like ahhh. LAME. haha...
anyhows on sunday, went out with my juniors, the twins charmaine and denise now in ny sec4, to shop for lifeskills camp dinner stuff. haha i pretty much watched them grow up. how cool. and they remember every little silly thing i did when i was their patrol leader. really sweet. even forcing all oriole members to wear some odd thing on their nails. haha. haha they each got sth quite sweet and nice... haha and charmaine, being the happy go lucky twin, was on a spending spree, she has quite a sense of style... haha like she got this beaded belt and shit like that. haha... think she'll look quite nice. haha...
and they complained their mom said they're fat... and said that j.lo's got an ass like a hse but pple still love her. haha
then at nite... went out with mich to the 6th ave tea party cafe. so nice and private.. i like... we were pretty much the only ones, so i took off my slippers and sat cross legged on the couch. haha we drank nice fruit tea and she took a pix of me.. coffee tea or me on my hp! real nice. and we took so damn many lame photos.
was really nice talking to her.. cuz well.. it's different telling a friend who's known u for so long and knows u so well everything abt what's been going on in ur life.. u dun feel the need to entertain. just the need to share, the closeness is awesome. haha... and i was telling her i love the place and then i started reenacting dates on the couch for her. wahaha... like hey man this is a nice date place. and then i'd like put my arm ard her and say this is what's gonna happen! and do stupid crazy shit. hahaha... and she took all the brochures and started looking thru them and told me what she needs what i need and shit. stupid stuff la. was really really quite nice. haha... i liked the couches.. really plush and comfy. and the drinks came in really light all glass pots and cups. then i got really annoyed when a bunch of loudish bengish pple came in and started talking in loud singlish like they owned a coffeeshop. hhaha and she found one of them cute and made me take a pix of him. but too blur.
haha anyhows tonight going drinking with her at holland v.. last time out with her. hope i can go aussie. or if i really cant come back this december... then i dunno... it'll be one and a half yrs. gonna miss alot. alot's gonna change when im gone. even thou im still on the scales.. i guess everything's really pointing to only one thing.
my personality, character, what i want from life, everything. what subjects im suitable for. etc. i mean my ac friend told me that night that the smu crowd is very suitable for someone like me. that i'd love it there. and he wasnt the first to tell me that. and then there are people who tell me that i'd like it overseas better cuz i can be myself more there. cuz of how i'm like what i like what i love. so yea. oh wells.
confusion.
She needed someone at 12:30 AM
