Monday, January 24, 2005
hOObAstAnk-dIssappeaR
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Can you make them disappear
Make them disappear, oh whoa
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Gonna search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
pretty sweet song... haha... but isnt it true... when u're with someone u like everyone seemms so far away. realllllllyyy true. haha but guess that's why pple can never understand when others are caught in the web of... love? yea. i say that with skepticism still haha. but just saying tt cuz of what ive been observing lately of the pple ard me. i quite like feeling so safe here by myself and now baby's gonna kill me. okay this is a remark im making after i finished my blog already. it's a lyric remark. blog starts below.
I'm getting pretty darned pissed off at certain guys who tend to start avoiding u and all that shit when pple start teasing them. wow so friendship really is worth all that much to them. haha i give up... haha the world works like this: you find a guy cute for like a brief moment in life and then u tell one becomes u tell all and then pple start teasing that person n heyyyy. nxt thing u know someone you could get along with perfectly just starts becoming the coldest person u've ever talked to.
this world's warped. and i think it's typicality. i'd like to get to know alot of people better as friends but often i dont get the chance cuz that person happens to be weak. haha shall start finally... finally believing that these people arent worth my time to get to know.
haha speaking of all these kinda teasing shit... haha it's odd... last time in sec sch i got all the teasing cuz like there were some guys i got along with really well and then my friends started dubbing them laogong. that kinda things. haha cant really remember the details. but rem that's how lucas became my laogong. haha i was like so ARGH abt the whole laogong laopo thing and he was like laughing it off and playing along and calling me laopo and i'd like totally go "screw off abt that" but yea. pretty fun now u think abt it. and haha whoa... went out with him on his bday... on sat... yay uhms 22nd jan hahhaha... shit i suck... anyways yea he realised that he'd known me for... 5 yrs... ard there or more.. and he got soooo shocked... he was like u're one of the very few gal frens i've had for so long! i've known u for forever! hahaha i was pretty shocked haha cuz yea i do have pretty old guy frens la.. but not that close anymore. poserism has taken over and posers suck. we'll see.. maybe in the future we'll go back to where we were. but was nice the way he said it like it meant alot that we've been friends for so long. to alot nowadays friendship is... overrated. oh and me being the idiot.. i was walking in the middlle of the road(cuz i dun walk straight) beside cine... and like the cars were like narrowly avoiding me... and like he totally pushed me to the kerb and walked on the outside... haha so nice!!!! yay laogong rox. haha but i was almost flung. watch ur strength man. hahaha... but so sad laogong will soon have no more time for me!!!! what with army gf concert(hopejam on march 27 electrico coming down to play too... tix at 15... 10 bucks is for funfair!).. laopo last on agenda la! evil shits.
goodness could u imagine losing these longterm friendships... it's like goodness nxt time u talk abt memories and these pple are involved, u always have to say oh he was my friend. everything in past tense. hate that.
damn haha going overseas might very well make me lose this little social circle of mine haha... and it'd be xiaowho? haha aft like 1 and 1/2 yrs of not coming back. but im still determined. there must be a reason why in jc i was so adamant abt going overseas.
hmms then on sat morn went out with mervs to catch up and like sooo mean... we were like laughing abt daddy and his prayer session exploits. oops. haha and merv's the entertainment whore and platoon pimp in army! haha hawk coy... haha when he met lucas and told him that he's frm hawk coy lucas was like wtf!!! haaha slack coy. haha... still cant remember the names in hawk coy. so amusing and i told mervs since pple dub him those stuff he can go dub daddy bible boy. but the stuff is pretty hilarious... like how he said he asked "is ******* a sin?" hahaha... then haha they started discussing it. hhahaha wtf. and mervs said sth abt he'll become a christian if ******* isnt a sin. hahahahha.. wtf the sick ass. oh and the whole lights out and daddy's not back frm session yet... haha just funny picturing it. haha..think they are having so much fun.. like the helmet when the horned beetle came in and the pail daddy put on merv's head. wtf. and haha he's still the same old vain ass. even i din know what kiehl was. and he knew. and oh he had to teach me abt hair pdts in watsons and makeup in inuovi. like what's my colour and shit. oh and made him eat chicken rice and then later eat xxl chicken. WAHAHHAHA with all tt chicken in army already. and then he drank... PINK DIAMOND. wtf it's the most gay smoothie there la. quite funny la... damn la miss insulting him online. esp all that exchanging insults thru msn nicks.
haha..."EH WHY IS THE EXPO SO BIG AR?"
hahhaha... shit man gonna miss so much. missing all the pple already all the nice pple went into army early. im so sad. hahaha.. xiaowei!!!! our black guy!!!! hahaha... but chope i only started thinking that he may be cute like a few days ago. ok fine maybe at orientation this yr. but no more hair. hahaha. yay but i still got the prom pixxxx. haha.
life's so different now. oh well. im surrounded by quite abit of bitching despite the pretty darned nice weekend i had. like the council gathering where it was pretty darn fun talking cock and all that. and learning that some pple arent all that bad aft all. and being an idiot and not recognising ronald and like staying in front of the wrong hse waiting for jp to come out. that was... intelligent.
then staying over at xw's hse talking cock again.. and then haogen and shawn waking at like dunno wat time la and doing the whole fall in army thing. WTF... and finding out the field signal for GPMG(ask me) and being so amused abt it. cheapthrill yea yea. oh and then breakfast at mac's and then when i left... jiahui and some others reached... hahaha so dumb... and i cud hardly recognise who it was shouting my name. ooops. who ask them wear caps. but no caps means no hair also the same cannot recog.
but i was dizzy with fever already. and guess what i did... i had fever of 34.8.... then later on at nite i took my temp again after taking two panadols. then it was still 34.8 and my parents were like huh. and then i realised... i forgot to shake the thermometer. haha and so when i called laogong and told him i was sleeping early due to fever it was like... dumb la... i stayed up later and watched pretty woman but i wished him happy bday already so i lazy. haha.
oh and pretty cool... clare thinks my bro's fren is cute. hhahaha... shall not say who. haha but i think so too!!!! yayyyy. drool? haha yea drool. he looks better now than last time. and damn he's entering army this year too!!! anyone entering like in june? ard there? he's entering late! droooolll
ok let's pretend i have to ask him abt my majors. why all the fun and cute guys in ut have to graduate.
damn clare... if only rite if only! no chance already lehhhs. haahha...DAMN! hahhaha
haha my workplace...haha quite amusing... after a day this guy at my workplace cracked abt all the secrets he had... not really secrets but stuff he din tell the other pple at work... haha. or din wanna tell. haha he used to bartend at madam wong's and devil's bar i think and did abit of id checking... and saboed someone using fake id... wtf.... and had eyebrow piercing lip piercing nose piercing and has tongue piercing and tattoo. wtf. scary look. but still im complaining. hahaha.. why? alota pple know la. but tdy they fired at telemarketer at my workplace. WTF. i was like so shocked. it's a scary world. office politics too! wtf. not nice. but welcome to reality. it bites. so get as many real friends as u can get now and keep them cuz dont think workplace would really be conducive for having real good friends who wont backstab u. i mean jc's already a tough place to start looking.
haha she thinks i don't know. but baby i believe u. what goes ard comes ard innit. and damn i thought she quit bitching already. people dont exactly change do they. what were originally feelings of disappointment and uncertainty has gone to outrage now. haha laogong says it's not my fault. hhahaha should start believing him.
anyways today's smu thing was pretty nice... esp seeing taufik and syl close up. i dont follow american idol... only the auditions cuz it's damn bluddy funny.... but i followed sg idol like siao. but i wasnt sms crazy la. but think it's like... the wonder is in that these pple are the pple u brush shoulders with everyday. they're ur pple. patriotism can be a pretty darn good marketing idea. i mean it's like hey sg has talents wow. i have quite abit more faith in sg's talents now that they have stuff like electrico(yay) n pug jelly. and damn... taufik is good. im still sad he din come down to shake our hands like syl. but i din manage to get infront for syl's one yet. haha. awww. smu bands are pretty darned good. and yea the pple are kinda cool... and artistic. respect. haha really considering smu. maybe second choice? but yea i dont wanna go there and then regret. cuz i bet i'd still go there and get disgusted by certain pple and their attitude towards a life studying.... cuz there are still certain pple going there. i dont wanna come out to be a dime a dozen thou. cuz really so many business schs churning out the same types of business grad. the whole "i'm unique and different and outspoken and etc" thing's bound to get old after a while when everyone claims to be so. it's really alot to consider.. weighing btwn staying here and attending smu and going overseas. shall weigh it out after i finally settle down with all my courses and work and app. shucks. im still really afraid of being ostracized cuz of my colour. just think i wont be used to racism... even subtle ones. shucks.
pray that marketing courses haven closed yet.
watched sooo many movies this weekend.. on tv... pretty woman, which was typical... then there was spy kids 2, there was road trip and the kid from... DISNEY! haha... spy kids 2 was... really ok only la. no big deal. but damn.. ROAD TRIP ROCKS... haha it's my type of movie... haha... like how nicole said harold and kumar was my type of movie and haha i loved it. haha... god road trip was sooo funny.... i was like howling. haha. im loving slapstick more and more damn. where's my brain atttt. anyways yea i loved the damn funny tom green... "UNLEASH THE FURY MITCH!!!!" hahahha... god everyone at ithaca college acted like they were on a high. oh and i think one of those guys on the road trip is damnnn cute. the brunette. this week's hot guy. haha. he's the super intelligent one who does the trajectory shit. i mean damn brains with looks? wtfffff niceeee. but damn i especially loved the part where they got into some fraternity... and then they realised it's an all black fraternity. hahahha wtf. and then later on this skinny guy does it with this huuugeee black girl and i was just wondering how she dint squash him. haha. amazing. oh well slapstick. haha... and it's like pretty funny the whole damn thing. harold and kumar was that little bit more funny. at least got quite bit of wit. road trip was just... slapstick. but it's nice to leave ur brains somewhere outside awhile.
UNLEASH THE FURY MITCH!!!!!! poor... mousie.
haha and sooo funny how the jacob guy wound up... tried to org a mass suicide and then he took some solution first and everyone else changed their mind haha. wtf
and as usual the guy who acted as stifler in american pie... he's the usual horny guy who comments "u always do it with the girl one last time before u break up with her!" hahaha wtf. hahaha u can punch someone for saying that man.
then i bought like ella enchanted and watched it again on vcd... frm video ezy... niice. hahaha i just tend to like this kinda shit. ella enchanted is like the fairy tale i always liked or dreamt of as a kid. all the peasantish clothing, pretty clothes and charming gentlemen and yea man the hall of mirrors and her dress omg. sooo beautiful. and did u see the white silver drawing on her hand? so beautiful.... she''s sooo beautiful, anne hathaway.
oh and the kid... haha disney never fails me. haha... so nice... really sweet story... and i really like amy/aimee.... she's so cute... like the sunshine girl who tries to teach the serious insulting bruce willis more abt having a kid in him. and... chester!!! the little puppy dog at the end... soooo pretty. oh goodness sooo fuzzy. im gonna get a siamese cat and a dog in the future. maybe a labrador puppy and siamese kitten or a terrier puppy and siamese/white/black kitten. yay. i'll have a zoo. it's just a really sweet story u just gotta watch. and damn i cried at the part where the dad shakes the little kid(he's REALLLLYYYYY CHUBBY AND CUTEEEE) so hard that he looks so frightened. he's like only 8 years old and he's told to grow up... and he's given the idea that he's causing the death of his mom... no kid should be told to grow up when he shouldnt yet and he shouldnt be faulted like that. that was the ultimate sweetest part. like he's so frightened he keeps going on and on abt the screw he lost frm the tools tt his dad was so mad abt.. "i found the screw daddy i found it! look at it!" god it's so sad... can u imagine if u were him? and it was so sweet when little rusty goes to ask big russ abt when his mom dies and asks if it's his fault and big russ hugs him and says no it's not.. like assures the kid la. real sweet. tt part was kinda heartbreaking lars. n plus the kid's got such a kind heart. no one deserves to be shaken like that. and the kid said sth that really could make someone think... abt the job of being an image consultant. "so your job is to help people lie about who they really are". isnt that so truthful? think we're all seeking to lie about who we really are. takes someone who really bothers to find the person within. only then is he fit to judge.
oh well.
kk night all.. was nice seeing familiar faces once again. and looks like life... even for others.. just keeps getting more complicated. oh well. aches of growing up.
She needed someone at 9:13 AM
