Thursday, December 23, 2004
Goo Goo Dolls-Acoustic #3
They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
'Cause she's got nowhere to go
And she wonders where these dreams go
'Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
And you know I see right through you
'Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screamin'
You're not listening anyway
hmmm. kinda feeling like this song. just skip this part if u're bored.
"And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way"
isnt it really true... cuz there's always plenty of times when pple ard u tell u sth's not possible, that u'll fail at this and that and everything... and finally u give up and abandon ur dreams. more than once, u'll wonder where those dreams went one day when u reflect.
"Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown"
kinda ties in with the whole no one's listening anyway thing.. cuz really, are u ever really heard? u know u're never really heard. u know they dont really give a shit abt u. why do u still bother?
this song's kinda abt how someone's singing to someone abt her/his life...and that tt person's been trying to reach the other... to tell them that there's someone who cares. but of course, he/she is blind.
yups... my stupid interp of this song.
anyways daryl sorry for snapping at u just now...not in the best state so yea.haha now u know i can be fiery.dont worry will try to hold up here.
damn i need a dose of nine days if i am now tralalala.
yup ynay sista... it's ur sista here... haha. so proud of da sexy mama u've become!damn u looked hot at tt aft-prom thing.betcha missing ac now.
wells... let's start on prom...
it was really alright... turned out to be better than expected. n kinda made me a believer abt how luck comes to u all at one go at once.. then later u get hammered down by the worst things. i'd rather not have all tt material stuff and be.. like everyone else.
anyways prom was kisetsu, and damn juniors ur banner rocked!!!!! well it's wayyy better than council invest banner heh. missing the juniors already. and the whole feeling of "damn their promos are over and our As are just starting" miss the short talks i have with some juniors when they bounce by happily like all the time. miss slacking off during As mugging to go play badminton outside the council room. esp venting my frustration on the shuttle with rard thou im really a lousy player. miss intruding upon the council room. miss seeing candace's broken leg. miss teasing brent. miss teasing longlost twin diana. miss being suaned by merv and kiat in sch. miss ahlam coming up to me and asking me REALLY sick qns. miss acting all old and jiejie-ish then have pple tell me johannes is actually older than me. miss rard and his gayness. miss minghui and her cuteness. miss slacking off to go to the halloween bash in sch.
missed alot at prom. wells...prom was truly unforgettable.. prom queen was lynette and king was russ. and well over at the hc side... bernard won mr gatsby! i knew it i knew it! haha but it's a shit title supposedly. haha... wells there was some dumbass game... where u look under ur chair and u see if u can find half of a poker card... and i found one... i still have it! and then matched it with some weird guy frm jiahui's table. then whoa we were one of the first two up on stage... and the other two was merv with wanrong... and so stupid... i was in my gown makeup hair contactlens everything.. and me and merv were acting like paikias on stage. hahaha... cuz we were like "what's ur card!" and like wah high five ar and stupid shit. and stupid guy managed to hide his tag inside his clothes. cuz the asshole went zara shopping ... as in sponsored by zara.. got a superex jacket and used it for prom then returned the damn thing. HE IS SUCH A CHEAPSKATE. haha...but wish i'd gone prom shopping with him already... nice nice dress frm zara... drooolll....
and well he got tealights as his prize and i got perlini's silver bracelet!!! wooyea! haha... the whole thing was kinda like a phototaking session... really stupid. hahaha... and my cam spoilt halfway and i just sat there... looking really pissed off. haha...but later managed to get it to work... and i was truly rejoicing going crazy retaking photos. so much so i went to toilet and wound up taking pixes with pple... damnnn nice toilet they have... in my gallery it's the one with tiled walls and nice cushions... the hell i wont mind going there to sleep instd of spending so much on a hotel rm...jkjk.
well my phototaking session in the toilet almost cost me my hifi set... haha... i actually won the 2nd prize... and waha... i never expected this kinda dumb luck. then at first they cudden find the person with 156... then they assumed it was melvyck so they sent simin up.. then said that mel was performing so he wasnt there... then so they kept the box cuz the presenter said it's too big for her to take. then later i came back then squid asked if i was 156... and WHOA... yea baby i am! So went to collect my prize... wah freaking unglam carrying the damn thing back. but at least the wrapper sorta matched my gown. ok that was so cheryl. haha. her and her balloon matching her outfit.
haha the prom was prob the last time i'd call quanda diarrhoeahead hahaha it was so dark we pretty much identified each other by going "cheesehead and diarrhoeahead" it's a damn lame story during orientation camp dun ask. i cudden even recog shirlene too! and well plenty of pple cudden recog me what with coloured contacts and all that. ok it's called ... action barbie or sth?
the best part of prom was kinda the prep for it...i loved watching my hair take form... haha... and this female hairstylist tay-ing the male hairstylist as they did my hair. SO FUNNY. i was trying really hard not to laugh. and the makeup lady was also quite nice. and glad that my recomm turned out well for everyone...
and the bestest bestest part of prom was bellbell and denzyl coming over to swiss from their romantic walk along the esplanade to visit me and take pix and for dunno what reason alota my frens were calling to ask which club i was going to and tt bernard bothered to help me get presale tix and tt cheryl was staying in the same hotel and that my frens had fun at cocolatte for their first clubbing experience. but main part was cheryl and bell they all. i was going crazy fielding calls and all that i was so excited tt they were coming i was like omg u're coming over! yay! yay! meet u where! yay! and stuff. i was like on a super high.
but felt kinda bad that i wasnt joining baby at zouk... bleh.. baby we go indochine and zouk one day before u go k! must must must must must. been a long time with u yups. and well u've been in msia wayyy too long!
and it was like... cheryl and bell and denz... when they came i was practically screaming in the lobby. was freaking happy. and cheryl looked so chio and bell looked so typically final fantasy with feathers in her ears(now she sounds like a chicken) and a nice pink airy fairy dress and the USUAL necklace worn as a crown thingy... or was it a necklace. and she wore what cheryl got for her bday! the weirdy ring bracelet thing! haha... must learn to like it... pple look so nice in it! i helped pick tt bracelet thingy out! haha... ok im being ego. denz looked normal, and bell looked so good with him! haha... can practically hear wedding bells. hmm. ok bell's gonna strangle me. haha think they're so compatible..same pattern one. at least frm what i see. haha... missed them.
wells... the cocolatte party was horribly crowded...ok la maybe not as crowded as phuture yesterday... haha. but ard there... at least i dint get stuck in the crowd... or maybe cuz we were with the hc pple.. it was like me bernard cher clare and some other hc pple and a coupla nj pple in the area we were in. bernard looked oddly smiley and cher was sooo cute... and clare was as usual haha. been a long time since i went with clare. saw like half the world there... the place was packed with jc pple GOODNESS... and well it was fun despite the sheer tinyness of the club. hmm speaking of cocolatte, merv's at tt club now.. hope it's gotten more crowded.. haha he was complaining abt it. and all the more cuz i recomm it to him. bleh.
hmm later on... went back to swiss with cher...haha aft visiting a 7eleven of course.. threw away half of my big gulp. bleh. and i thought i was thirsty. then in swiss went to her room for a while.. talked. and ignored i think ryan they all when they asked me if i wanted to join them for cards. shit im antisocial. but i do not as a rule sit down when im in a dress. esp a tube dress. maybe i shudda joined them. me and my antisocial pratty ass. then later cher joined me in my room upstairs... and we just talked talked talked till 545... when... dunno which one already... came in a taxi to fetch her home... haha so nice. i sent her out looking really frumpy in my bright red shirt and berms and uncombed hair. hmm. pix in gallery. haha.. then on my way back bumped into jerry who, surprisingly, said hi to me when in sch it's like ok we know each other but nvm la. loved talking to her ahaha and her issues with countless guys... haha... so fun. or even funner! hahaha..gonna miss cher when i go overseas. one of the few i'll really miss. oh and haha two guys i dint know asked me to take pix with them.. and i tot they wanted me to help them take pix... haha... daddy(j2 one) said im blur.. anyways yea now i know their names! haha. thou xw will be jealous cuz one of them is......... hmm! haha stupid xw in uk.... having fun slacking at home and stuff over there. bring me back a hot british hunk! bwahaha...
korea was pretty darn good... there were not so nice times of course. but oh well. skiing was good... it was like swinging but without the headaches after. there's like nice cold dry wind thru ur hair and against ur face and u're just rushing down the slope without having to think much of anything... can totally spread ur arms out and feel the wind take u over. LOVE IT. miss the piercing cold of korea... like feeling my cold face. and not being able to feel my nose... my fingers and everything! the best part was the four days at the ski place. the place was really small and the rooms kinda damn dirty... but yea loved the community feeling. it's like the place is so small that it's like everyone's living together really, and we kept seeing the vj pple so much so lots of us made friends with quite a few vj pple... haha maybe the usual dislike for eastarea jcs is now turned ard. remember last time my fren was telling me how she cant stand jcs in the east. hmm. geographical isolation. it was really nice... like pple gathering in the lobby, in the area outside the rooms on the 2nd floor, and pple gathering for uhm... housewarming in rooms. hahaha. dumb stuff for dumb pple. ultimately really miss the going out at night walking to convenience store complaining abt the cold and ESP walking to the roadside stall.. DAMNNN THE FOOD WAS GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD... thou i hate that big hotdog thing... dry and tasteless. to me. I LOVED THE SOUP. one day when im rich and powerful i shall have the soup flown over. waha.
or just go back for the soup. goodness. it is sooooo good. miss the food already... damn... really really miss the sitting ard the roadside stall eating hot food and freezing to death and eating silkworm(s) and drinking superstrong practically ethanol soju. and not getting drunk! yay. got abit high thou. but think tt episode made me resistant already. went mambo yesterday and i dint feel anything when i practically downed the vodka lime. oopsy. almost dint taste the vodka in there. but vodka lime is DAMN GOOD. it's my new fav drink. i wanna make it for my party yeap.
my ski instructor is super super super cute! hhahaha... kawaii boy... haha... u'll see his pic soon.. haha. whee. i saw so many korean kawaii boys lorx... im gonna migrate there one day. waha jkjk. my hk canton superdark hunks still rock more. raymond lam! wooo yea! need a crash course in canton.
and well i think everyone LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO COOOLLL in ski attire. i miss the baggy ski pants. hid my thunderthighs really well. but my sunglasses got hit so outta shape that the frame doesnt fit my face no more. and my glasses broke cuz clumsy me stepped on them. and i left my superex facial wash behind. still haven told my mom. she'll take me to a hdb flat go up to the top storey and throw me down frm there. help shawn! u're the ultimate liar help!
wish i could walk out into the nite to a nearby roadside stall with friends crapping the hell off wrapped up in winter clothes right now. but wells. cant. i'll melt my arse off.
and well miss u hostel... one day i'd love to go on one of these student trips again. gonna miss hanging with pple my age now tt im joining the workforce and dying from oldness ard me. bet pple will be staring at me weird if i act like... myself.
well the last two days... HOME STAY WAS THE BEST... the little girl was super cute... the little boy was super hyperactive.. running from block to block within the apartment area. crazy man... and so cute he tried to mimick the gymnasts he saw in this ymca concert and tried to jump over my luggage. but uhm failed. and yea i pity him. kinda... uhm. ew. the little girl was shy, pretty and cute! haha little girls rock the best. haha... it's like i held her tiny hand and then sometimes i'd start skipping or running on the spot or sth and she'd follow and start laughing real cute. sooooo cute. then like once she ran and caught up with me and held my hand like im her jiejie... arrrrrrrrrrr i love her!!!!!!! she's sooo cute... and i was like corrupting her during the concert... and pointed to little boys and asking her cute not? in korean.... and she wud ans by nodding her head or shaking her head. and i'd ask her if she knew them or not and if she didnt i asked her to go talk to them. bwaha... and she'd smile all along very cute. and once i was pointing to this director guy from cultural night ard our age and then he moved off and i ended up pointing at this really old uncle.. and i got an imm shake head frm her. and she and her bro were so cute... trying to strangle themselves with this monkey thing.. haha. and i moved over and put my arm ard the little girl.. wahaha... i wan a little sis. i'll super dote on her la. i still think i was born into the wrong family. haha.
anyways.. the parents took us to this super upmarket restaurant tt had a spectacular view of the chuncheon city lights called heaven... and so funny me and lynnette took pix with the little girl... and the dad cut off his daughter's head frm the pix... so funny. there was another homestay family there too... and this guy got quite high on half a glass of bourbon coke. can i laugh now? haha. okay la well there are pple who get drunk on a glass of tiger beer. retard. anyways... hot chocolate and ESP HOT VANILLA was super good over there... damnnn the hot vanilla rocks big big big time... esp in cold weather... super shiok... im gonna look for it here in spore.
the parents still think we're fans of winter sonata cuz bae yong jun was kinda the only korean superstar we knew.. and winter sonata was filmed in chuncheon and i guess they were real prouda it. and the mom loves dramas too anyhow. she treated us like we were her daughters... really nice. i love their family... so warm... so nice... and they're super hospitable. and they just really seemed together... nxt time i wanna live in a cosy apartment in a temperate country. right now going overseas then returning to spore doesnt sound good. maybe ive found the reason why im NEVER homesick. envy.
well last night was in seoul didnt do like major shopping like the rest... hmm. but well got my boots for 30 sing bucks rocks. the skirt was too pricey thou still dunno why i bought it. miss korean food already... as in the snacks. not the food. the snacks. the instant noodles rocks. the seaweed too. the biscuits! the everything la.
dint sleep the whole nite in seoul and totally snoozed on the bus... damn. pple took pix of me sleeping like a pig with my head hitting the window like some bloody... thingamajig in a bell. haha.
miss korea really. damn. but brought back very very few photos, and new friends yup.
oh and i miss aeroplane milk. wahaha.. cuz got abita gastric on the flight back and like so asked for milk and the milk rocked. lowfat sucks actually. but oh well. think french fries from burger king as breakfast was a wrong choice.
when i got back did nth much other than go online and SLEEP... i was super sleep deprived on the trip. and then finally went out at like 10 to meet shawn to go out to bukit timah market for supper. talked till like 1 sth 2 am at the market can u believe it. passed him his souvenir showed him merv's souvenir and then we walked back to my hse then showed him the prom photos, which he missed with no apparent reason... and found out his class guys referred to me as... uhm...sth really stupid la. and he mentioned tt certain girls looked fat on prom. quite fun la.. he left my hse at ard 5 sth goodness ive never talked to someone for so long before la.. i think... and haven really talked to him in eons. damn dumb. oh well. then yesterday went out to town with cheryl and kah yee... dint really know kah yee.. haha...stupid girl was like "it's funner with u" and i wanted to watch ocean's twelve anyways so i just went and crashed their.. sorta date. got to know kah yee and realised that ocean's twelve isnt really that great. the first one rocks more. and oh yea... was late for the movie cuz of my dumbass interview...at phuture london for some interview for salesgirl position... think i dun really want it anymore... it's from 10.40-8pm.. as in really long hrs and gotta work on sundays and cannot take leave on fri and sat and alota rules and 900 bucks basic salary. hmm dun think worth it. and dun really like the pple there or the fellow applicant. gonna try out relief teaching at hpps... but i need a job tt pays steady... like from jan till june. and dun think relief teaching can lidat. so dead me. oh but the sales job... got one off day a week. not bad in that way las. but still. dunno. shall shop ard awhile like the typical singaporean. really still hoping to get marketing stuff.
should i go take marketing night classes? there'll be exams in june and ive kinda had enough of exams. but i nid a feel of the major i wanna take that everyone tells me is useless. and it's super inconvenient to rush to shenton way on certain nights cuz like most jobs end really quite late. need a literal 9-5pm job.
then later went to some jc pageant thing... goodness when i reached it was like super late and i had missed the whole damn pageant. felt really bad holding nicole up for so long... sooo sorry. but some samantha girl won the interjc prom queen. not bad eh. but well we went phuture.. tried out mambo... it was DISGUSTING. so retarded. no wonder the dance floor was kinda empty. i officially like 1 for 1s. the drinks turned out to be real cheap cuz me and nicole shared and it's like if u buy one u get another one. saw yamei and jayne before going into mambo... then in mambo saw cheryl's idol buddy ryan and nicole saw her exclassmate. yups saw derwin and benjamin and coupla other nj guys too. then later went phuture and saw jw and mok and pple at the queue... and jw had to make a crack at my age "goodness u got in!" haha but it was kinda soft almost dint hear it... but rj pple become really dao already. and one of the guys is cheryl's fren... and he recog me and went... "u're cheryl's fren rite?" i was like yea and hi and all.. but i was thinking.. who the hell is this guy.. hmm. haha and just now me and cher were discussing who it could me. haha. lame.
then in phuture... there were these two pervies i pulled nicole away frm aft they lit up a cigarette... bleh.. absolutely hate pple smoking in ur face. bleh. anyways the dance floor was pretty much groping zone so me and nicole were moving frm place to place cuz we found ourselves surrounded by pervies. but good thing we bumped into derwin they all... almost got pushed onto the dance floor and they were like pulling me up before i totally got stampeded on. and derwin's fren helped me look for my lost earring..quite funny. but they rock thanks man. and this guy... haha was asking me what happened and i was like i lost my earring. kinda embarassing and later he was like "u're the girl with the lost earring rite?" then i wanted to hide in a hole... and he asked if i'd found it and when i said yea he was like wah u good. waha cuz the dance floor was amazingly crowded. he's like the only nice guy we met yesterday la... he asked if it was only me and nicole and when i told him derwin they all left for mambo then he was like u girls better be careful. haha. shit. okayyy. but tt was really nice la.
anyways tmr im leaving for msia.. hopefully baby's in kl too.. then can meet up with her hopefully.. gonna need a friend ard esp for this trip damn. or im gonna listen to the thousands of songs on my ipod for a few times over. imagine that.
wells wells... sucks cuz im missing the class gathering at elisa's hse on xmas eve... ahhh!!!! and i promised to go with cheryl to her church on xmas then aft tt go out...but now cuz of this cant go...bleh. xmas is ruined.
this year's prob one of the worst ever xmas.... and maybe gonna be the worst ever birthdays... just hope the party works out. last year the xmassy mood was way stronger... what with watching love actually and loving tt olivia olson song and shopping for xmas gifts and walking along orchard looking at xmas lights and lotr and the xmas council party. really miss the busy period prep for orientation... going sentosa to film even! and the destroyed first video by melvyck. and the crazy mass dance frenzy. and the superfun orientation camp. oh and going to reccee alota stuff... and going to jp's hse to view the vid. and well.. the list goes on. miss the busyness of council work.
haha... kinda sucky the xmas this year...esp since it's like the last xmas in spore for another two years. sucks most prob if i go overseas nxt year i will be going in like july or aug... most prob july cuz most prob will go new york first.. and yea i kinda wanna leave earlier. and like kinda dumb to come back in dec cuz the holiday's real short and ive only been there a few months. so prob wont come back. then will only come back the nxt december. and by then pple in spore wud prob have forgotten me. like "xiaowho?" oh and sooo cool! my juniors wudda been in army one year! now that's kinda far. and my frens wudda gotten outta army already or getting out. OMG. okay... that's like doing ns overseas.
well I MISS KOREA. hope the us is anything like korea. yea rite. im getting kinda tired of the urbanite life.
She needed someone at 9:32 AM
