Saturday, December 04, 2004
hOwiE dAy-cOLLidE
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find, you and I collide
Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
mao rocks for introing this song to me. haha... i love it. but their other songs arent so great.
yay i finally have time to blog...shall update on everything that happened since aft As till now... but guess will start on today since i'll rem the most abt it.
well well... today was the SUPER dreaded jab day.... for tetanus la... monday's the SUPER dreaded SUPER ALOTA jab day... got flu jab by my mom, and blood test in hospital... i hate jabs. jabophobia. or sth. wish i dint have so many phobias.. they always make me feel so idiotic in front of others... haha my whole arm went cold when we were driving to the clinic. haha... i was so scared i didnt want to eat or talk. just drank milk. bleh wish i had comfort food, strawberry milk. wahha. im starting to have this thing for red. or sth. think it's my prom gown. haha...
then went to ymca for the skiing and snowboarding trip thing... im thinking of staying in thailand a few more days when we transit there. but damn it seems like it's mostly guys who wanna stay... shucks. well... vj was there... so many vj pple so few nj pple.. DIEEEE.. oh saw a cute vj guy. yayyy? haha... he prob tot i was a hideous mutant she-beast. haha. well well...hopefully i get to know more pple... it nv hurts to make new frens... esp after As when sooner or later ur jc frens will poof disappear. haha... but kinda nice... aft that talked on the bus...think i pretty much told someone off. i was absolutely sick and tired of hearing pple crack jokes abt me being wild or clubberish or what... when im not when they base their judgement on what they hear abt me and when i help my frens advertise for their parties... im not always going to these parties k. goodness. i am tired of explaining myself. think what u want. SCREW YOU.
went to lido to get the money frm vin... haha... if u reading this vin thanx so much for helping me ask ur frens la... hehs... sorry man it's like u helping me distribute man... haha YA ROX. k... but i wont stop insulting u sorry. it's so funny... he went to sydney for a week... and it's like shopping paradise there and he comes back to shop for prom gear the day before his prom... and shopping and vin dont go together. so funny... made me choke la when he said "i need to go shopping!" hah.
then well... went to holland v to meet the org of the oomph party...cuz bert had sth on so he told me to look for tristan... kao. so embarassing... i was like rushing and stuff then so when i went up to the 2nd lvl starbucks... i saw this grp of typically ac looking guys. and i wasnt sure if tristan was the one with the brown hair at the end of the table... and i was like staring at them for awhile and they stared at me when i went up the stairs...felt so uncomfortable la. then i called him then saw his head poke out from the mass of heads. recog him frm first three mths when he was with bert but hardly. haha.. i'd expect him to be super dao and stuff like some ac poser but he was surprisingly friendly. no offence to anyone frm ac reading this. but well yea.
then went to meet mich jing and mao in time to say byebye to mich and jing... haha then for a while hung ard by the road watching cars with mao. then went to starbucks with mao... haha and so funny saw the whole grp of ac pple again... and wound up sitting on the table nxt to them. talked to mao abt so much till nite... like my macchiato never lasted so long. and there were never so many flying fucks in a conversation in... a long time. haha. talked like abt perceptions in sg and melb. haha... so different...life's so different. and perspectives and how pple perceive u. sg is still so narrowminded...it's a political prison, mental prison, emotional prison whatever. i still cant breathe properly. i dont feel like i can just twirl ard till i go dizzy i dont feel like i can lie sprawled on the grass watching clouds i dont feel like im really free. for once i'd like to be able to feel free enough to feel it's alright to like someone, and to feel confused, and to not know what i want. right now im pretty darn... confused. i guess. i dunno. haha merv says i like him. but i dun think so. i dont think i really know him. it's not enough based on feeling. and i still feel that little bit for the other one... like whatever. i've sworn off ever liking someone. it only ends in someone getting hurt and it's always a one sided kinda knife wound. haha merv's rite. im the hermit. SCREW IT. we'll see.
im a dreamer. doesnt look like it to most i guess. but YOU.DONT.KNOW.ME.
hmm then anyway exchanged songs to dld with mao... and she introed this song to me. among others... this is the best. i love it... the voice... it's like the guy's really really in love with the girl who's the subject in this song...it's like he's staring at her sleeping just... totally in love and thanking heavens that he found her. that kinda feeling. love it love it. haha thanks maomao. btw u so still sneeze cute. haha. damn must learn to sneeze even more less rocketish. haha mao was so thin skinned she din dare go in to ask the pple in michelangelo's for a job. haha..k my medium skinned joke was bad come to think of it.
okok... shit it's all abt today.. well... last thursday was great great great. cuz As ended then watched incredibles... and i liked violet..she's like someone all of us can relate to. and mirage is SO CHIO. and jackjack is soooooo damnnnn cute. im a paedophile. before then we ate at nooch... then bert came to pass me tix... i like his hat... haha wore it the same way tristan wore his is it some gang thing dammit? haha. he said that the nooch at paragon doesnt give as much noodles as the one at wheelock. uhm. we couldnt finish our noodles. but it was damn good. black pepper always rocks. quite fun eating with ladles. hmmm and momojuice! so cute. but so little. it was mostly ice. then in the theater i think i mighta seen my ex ac class... tot i saw paulus who's in that class now. cuz this guy looked at me like he knew me and i tot he looked familiar. but yea... i tried to look out for him. but dint really see. and i was kinda thinking thru the movie. then later i realised his msn nick was violet parr but uhms... i dunno la. wanna see him again but i dunno whether it's just i miss an old friend or sth. SCREW IT. it sucks this sucks. i have to have gotten over him. i just have to. how can i ever ever ever like someone this long? screw it girl, find something abt him to hate. it's never been so hard. argh. i dunno dunno dunno.
anyhows.. the nxt day went expo with merv for sitex the asshole knew i'd be late so he was late and then we launched into some dumb competition to try to be later or rather he tried to be later than me and succeeded. idiotic. fell in love with one digicam after another... haha... and now i realised that sony stuff is damn ex.... like the memory card and stuff. sucks. i like the cybershot dsc l1. but now gotta look for a new one. and after merv said my darling olympus mini miu digital looks like a vibrator(i tried so hard to be innocent and not know what a vibrator was~!), i kinda dint want it anymore. but yea... it's fat la. i think i want slim now. but that'd be the casio one.. but yea i love the canon ixus... but ONE TIME OPTICAL ZOOM... that's damn lousy for the future mountains and lakes im gonna snap. argh i want a cam before i bloody go for prom cuz my dad's bloody cam is bloody gimungulous. i would really like to carry a nice little clutch. ONLY. sucky shit. then now comes the idiotic part... we took mrt to town... then we took straight frm expo thinking it'll go strt to orchard... then later after a while i looked back out the window then asked, "eh why is expo so big?" then he went "of course it's big la it's the expo" then after a pause it's like he realised we were sitting on a loop train that goes back to expo and changi airport and tt i meant to ask why the expo stretched beyond tanah merah wahhaa. damn dumb la!!!!! i laughed until cannot breathe man when we got out at tanah merah... and merv look stupefied.... like dunno whether to luff or feel stupid. wahhaa... damn dumb. haha...
then went for lunch in town mac's... got my incredibles jackjack cushion! yay! im so boliao. but yea... da baby's so cute! then walked ard showed him my gown at danyam and he insulted it as usual, and then looked at forever21 i loved the hat there... wud go so well with a pantsuit.. but aiya kinda ex for a hat. i want a pageboy hat. haha...hats are in! looked at topman and yea nth much. eskimoish stuff thou.
sat, went for dental... and now my retainers cut into my gum... damn pain damnn bloody pain. wont be surprised if it bled. then went to get my ipod... dint fulfil my dreams of a digicam too.. sucks. ARGH. and my dad doesnt have anymore time for me. sucks la. i wanna get it on my own but not enough $$ in my account anymore. dunno if i shud get the slim one in time for my prom. but aiya... i dunno. prom sucks already. just looking forward to a new look with my hair. then went to this dianxin place... where the pi dan zhou damn damn damn damn nice... but im a weirdo i eat pi dan zhou without pi dan. haha. then watched mamma mia... heard that this family fren dint like it... cuz it's like abt this mother who did it with three diff guys on occasions so close to each other that she din even know who fathered her daughter. haha... oh well. but it was nice i liked "sophia"'s singing.. very pure and sweet. and she's real pretty. i think. or so i think from circle 2. tan kheng hua and i think jeremy heng or sth the guy who acted in emily of emerald hill sat in front of my n my bro. but yea it was nice even walking back munching on roadside icecream. i loooveeeeeeeeee coloured bread. haha. lame. went to streak my hair. i hate it. so not noticeable. pple take forever to notice i streaked my hair. damn sad. only one streak can see when not under sun. it has to be under light then can see la. how pathetic is that. my mom wants me to go back to see the person cuz she told her that it's damn lousy and not obvious... then the person say to bring me there then she see. oh shit. i hate conflict. thou i sometimes cause them too cuz i lose my patience with, eg pple who assume they know me oh so well, and pple who pretend to be people they arent.
well then sunday wasnt very eventful but i got much needed rest then went to gym and overbloodyworked my ass off. haha. but steam bath was sooooo good. but stinky. but goooodddd.
then monday went shopping for prom accessories with clare... got this pretty choker i love love love... mac lipglass which is so not obvious on my lips... i wanna get the nice pink ones nxt time... argh. i busted so much on it. i feel like shit now. will go duty free and buy when i go korea. just hope pple say shit abt me getting makeup and stuff. im interested in makeup and hair and stuff wanna learn when i get the time. haha. but earrings wise... not damn chio. but i like the star ones. but the other ones.. tried with my gown. it sucks. i feel like a xmas tree. sorry clare!!! haha. but will wear it another time la. maybe i'll wear my simple old ones... with red plastic jewels... then got my heels. i love my heels thanks man clare!!! haha... it's got chinese annasui-ish lace on the heels and the thing that wraps my heel... it holds the heel and has this red thing that holds the ankle. ankle buckle. yea. and the front is silverish w red tinge. LOVE IT. it's so... classy. love it!!! but i have to learn to walk in it. ok... sashay sashay!
then tue... nth much... went for guides camp which sucked big time... cuz in the morning it was the seniors lazing ard and i was sleeping on the table then did testwork and had to fail this girl who din even know the bus to take to guides hq in bishan and dint know how to walk to serene. argh i felt so bad. but oh wells my dumb luck. then left for the pub thing at nite with shao they all.. haha it sucked blew so much money on taxi fare there and back and on the ticket. wala is better anytime and prob cheaper. shucks. oh well at least it's an experience. haha listened to the choir pple talk abt... choir. just enjoyed the sea breeze watched the lights in the distance, being reminded of ac class chalet, and just watching the lights in the distance. haha tried to drown out their choirtalk. haha... oh wells... felt like taking a walk alone along the beach. or sitting on the breakwater dreaming. missed ac so badly then. then mich loh sent a nice sweet sms. haha liked it... felt this fuzzy feeling. haha. it's always nice to receive these kinda smses frm frens cuz it shows they remembered u... esp the pple u think mighta forgotten u aft so long. haha. and it's nice to get msgs back sometimes of 'u take care too!' from friends u think have changed to become distant frens in ur superficial life. yup. then they become... not so superficial frens anymore. i like that. esp when in the past u guys were nice frens who could talk abt anything. and now all u can talk abt is... girls, parties and stuff. it gets old. miss alot. miss the closeness i used to have with alota pple.
then wed... went little india with juniors.. did henna hope it fades off before prom. damn. nice talking to the juniors for some time... yea and interesting to see little india. haha. and the tourists. haha oh well. then went home. was gonna fall asleep kinda. then baby called... haha so nice to hear a familiar voice on ur home phone. baby saved me frm depression! haha... just feels better aft talking. thou it wasnt long but just a familiar voice comforts. yup. i love lots of pple more than i realise actually. argh.
thurs... went to alter my dress... then went to chalet. which bored the shit outta me. cuz i din play bridge so i was watching tv like some idiot. and flipping thru mags. bored to tears literally... till i smsed xiaowei to ask abt their choir stayover to have abit of entertainment. so dumb. i even watched suria for a while. haha...
friday... was okay la...played pool, cycled(whee wind in my hair), and stuff. walked in the rain with kelly. haha how romantic. haha.. damn dumb la. i felt so sticky. and stinky. scratched this really cute cat... lots of nice white fur... it was lying on the foot reflexology place and basking in the sun. and i think i woke it up.. heh. very cute. it loved me scratching under it's chin. haha. soooooo cutteeee. fat cat. haha... fat lazy cat. bbq was okay la... cheese prawns ROCKED.... and the peach chardonnay thingie me and kel bought was real nice... haha. white wine beats red wine anytime. the chicken was also the best bbq chicken i ever tasted!!!! goodness... i felt like a huge oily pig afterward. haha.
She needed someone at 6:42 AM
