Monday, November 15, 2004
NiNe dAys-iF i Am
So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall
So far down, or maybe you were thinking about jumping
And you could have it all,
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly,
I'm not content to crawl
So give me a little credit,
Have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever,
If tomorrow's not too late
But it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
And you should never let the sun set on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises today
If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of,
I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer,
I will let you down
So you're walking on the edge
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone,
that you don't see the hands up held to catch you
And you could find the fault,
In the heart that you've been handed
But though you cannot fly,
You're not content to crawl
And it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
But you should never let the sunset on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises
If I am,
Another waste of everything you hope for, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down...
So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall...
If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down
The answers we find are never what we had in mind,
So we make it up as we go along
You don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow
We won't make those promises that we can't keep
I will never leave you
I will not let you down
I will never leave you
I will not let you down...
think i lost my nine days cd for good. it's been a year and i still cant find it. wheeee. i love that 2ndhand cd shop. im gonna go cd shopping soon. anyways yea i burnt a nine days cd. and i managed to get the acoustic version of this song. haha remember how i got to know abt this song in sec sch... thru bell and thru my beloved dawsons' creek cd.
if u look at this song carefully u'll realise it's abt someone who doesnt realise that there's someone there to catch her when she falls. that someone's already given his heart to her. but she just doesnt see how much she means to that person cuz she finds "fault in the heart that u've been handed". yup... but it's someone who wont ever let her down or hurt her or sth. but she's blind to it all. cuz she thinks she's alone in everything she's going thru. that person's not like everyone ard her... he's not there to "watch her suffer", he's not "another waste of everything u've dreamed of" and he wont make promises he cant keep. she's like the pessimist and this person cares enough to always be there for her.
haha that's my interp. haha... well the mtv shows this girl walking on the ledge or sitting, i forget, and the band's playing in this empty room. and there's the lead singer, as always, sorta the person who means all that he's singing. haha. then i rem the ending shot... the room is totally empty, no band no nth. cant remember the entire thing.. mtv doesnt play songs that are supposedly outta fashion. but yea... it's a really sweet song and vid. must go learn to play it on the guitar when i get the chance. as in when i learn how to play the guitar first. damn i think i shudda been born a guy. hah. this song's my voicemail song. haha... like if u call me and i dun pick up it connects into the voicemail which plays this song. had it on for like what 2 years? hah. really fast. rem everytime i felt horrid or sth i'll actually call myself to listen to this song cuz it always makes me feel better. haha. dumb rite? blegh.
i want to go marche. i want to go squirt juice on everyone with my lousy table manners. haha baby's blog made me smile. hah remembered how so long ago i tried the damn rosti and i had no idea how to start on the thing and so i just stuck my fork into my sausage and the juice squirted at baby. i really had no idea! hah. i suck at table manners. must go learn. "baby's black balloon makes her fly" haha goo goo dolls. whee i miss calling baby baby. calling mommy mommy. calling daddy daddy.
today's math sucked. the paper was actually okay... but i dint know how to do one whole stats qn. and lots of pure math qn was actually done with an anyhow whack attitude. and i just had to see square root x as x. and bloody hell i just had to find out when the examiner was waiting for me. so i couldnt change anything. hard work doesnt pay off for me. i did like so damn many qns frm each topic. and i just somehow can still screw up. im good. hah. i dont want to imagine how it's gonna be like getting back results. the disappointment.
aft math, this f*ed up bastard who's brendon's friend, dunno who he is.. saw my math book on the floor and went "wah who's is this! math is over already!" and happily flung my book across the classroom. and like i wasnt pissed off enough abt the paper while packing my bag... i totally shouted at him. i just went "who the hell threw my book?" really really loud while staring at brendon n his friend in some sort of death glare. hah the guy went "sorry" but i still think he's an f*ef up bastard. dunno whether he realised it was my book. maybe he thought i was being a bitch for no reason. but anyway the book isnt mine.. it's my tuition teacher's... she bought the book for me to revise better... gotta return her aft As. and that's what got me so pissed off. cuz if it were my book i mean hell yea i'll burn it. but anyway he barked up the wrong tree at the wrong time. im no pushover woo yea. i really felt like walking over and giving him a tight slap but that'll be abit too much.
honestly, nj guys are the most immature buncha idiots ive ever seen. im not saying im like god or sth. but hey... they play tag in the corridors. they do shit things that they think make them look so cool and slackerish or whatever. they just pose so much but really look pathetic. i feel like im in psch again ard them. they always do things without thinking abt the consequences. they never consider the effects their actions have on others. im just soooo pissed off. ive had enough and im getting out of nj anyway. it's abt time i get out and go someplace where the guys act their age.
maybe it's a good thing im not a guy cuz if i were a guy and in nj i'll be insulting myself. hmm. whatever.
anyhow maybe i screwed up cuz i just cudden fall asleep yesterday. close my eyes and i see images and had a huuuggeee headache. cuz of so damn much coffee. and ginseng. ew. the stress is finally getting to me. insomnia becomes me. hah. the first time i could sleep earlier, and i couldnt get to sleep till like what morning? i dint even hear my alarm ring. bloody hell.
my math will never fly... and the worst thing is im gonna be letting down so many people.
argh. whatever. disappointment becomes me.
She needed someone at 8:23 PM
